A Life Without
by Amber1990
Summary: After that fateful first meeting in Biology, Edward never returns to Forks. Both Bella and Edward go on to live seperate lives, with only a brief but clear memory of meeting each other. Though they think they're happy, it's as if something's missing. ExB
1. Bruised Egos & Slippery Floors

Chapter One

_Edward POV_

I couldn't trust myself to go back there. Not ever. Carlisle had told me to reconsider, to hunt and try to endure her presence once more. But I couldn't risk something so dangerous. Not when a complete stranger was involved.  
The arrival of Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella, into town had been the hot topic of gossip for weeks. In conversations and minds alike. Though I didn't know back then that she would cause my life such upheaval and disruption.  
Now I had to leave town... and it was all because of her. I wanted to hate this Isabella, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There was something about her that I couldn't put my finger on. Aside from the obvious, that I simply could not read her mind. Not even a little.  
This factor alone was enough to make me want to return. Coupled with the attraction I felt, my decision was almost unbearable. But, if I could feel this way about someone... surely it was worth leaving just to know that she would be safe. Especially from me.  
It was late now, I had been running for a few hours. Alice had seen my destination, and I knew that it was the only place I could go. The one place I would be welcomed with open arms. It might be uncomfortable at times around the Coven Leader, but Denali was my only option. And Tanya wasn't all bad.  
Carlisle must have called them to let them know I was coming, because by the time I reached their mansion they were all outside waiting. Dressed hardly appropriately for the cold Canadian weather. It was lucky that they lived in such seclusion, I realised as I noted my own apparel. A grey t-shirt and black jeans. We weren't very inconspicuous.  
"Come in, Edward. We have much to talk about." Tanya held her arms wide and waited for me to embrace her. I did so courteously, not wanting to give her false hope. Letting my hold drop after a few seconds. Hopefully, it was long enough that I didn't seem ungrateful for her hospitality.  
"Do you have any idea how long you will be staying with us?" Irnia interrupted Tanya's concentrated gaze that was fixed in my direction.  
"To tell you the truth, ladies," I addressed them all as polietly as I could manage. "This is a spur of the moment visit. I was hoping I could stay just as long as I needed it."  
"You know that you are always welcome here, Edward. We love having you. You're almost family." Tanya beamed, a little too friendly. It was just another mannerism I would have to ignore.  
Forcing a smile in return, I followed Tanya's clan into the mansion. I was led to the Cullen wing, and was about to head to my bedroom when Tanya placed a hand on my shoulder.  
"You know," she whispered, "you can come and talk to me any time you need."  
"Thank you, Tanya. I think, for now, I would rather have some time alone. To gather my thoughts. I will see you in the morning." I dismissed her, once again, as polietly as I could manage. Her persistence was starting to get on my nerves and I had barely been there ten minutes.  
Usually, I would play with Tanya. Flirt with her when she made her advances. There was little else I could do, as she refused to be spurned. This time, though, her comments only angered me. My mind kept returning to that Isabella, the one who had caused me to leave home. I couldn't seem to get her out of my mind. Praying for a distraction from her face in my memory, I slammed the door closed to my room and pulled out the closest CD of the loudest music I could find. System of a Down... that might work. I smiled to myself as I plugged in my headphones and got ready for another sleepless night.

_Bella POV_

That Cullen boy from Biology had been so rude! I had planned to confront him the next day, but he was a no show. He didn't turn up for a week. I was starting to loose the anger that had fueled my desire. Though I never stopped wondering what the mysterious stranger was doing, whether he was thinking about me... His utter disdain for me in class had disgusted me, I didn't even know what I had done wrong! But that didn't stop him being the most attractive guy I had ever met.  
I silently cursed myself as I walked across the parking lot to school. Carefully keeping my eyes on the blacktop, to avoid any patches of ice, I continued to think about the stranger. Edward Cullen. What had been his problem?  
I was about to turn the music in my headphones up when I saw it. Tyler's van screeching toward me. There wasn't enough time for me to do anything as it came, as fast as ever, careering in my direction.  
I heard screams, shouts, I heard people telling me to get out of the way. But I was frozen. Terrified. The car may have been moving ridiculously fast, but everything was happening in slow motion.  
"Bella, get out of the way!" It was Mike, bellowing from across the parking lot. But I couldn't move. And he couldn't do anything to save me. No one could.  
It was too late.  
As the side of the van came closer and closer, I prayed to whatever higher being there might be that I would survive. I didn't want to die. I couldn't stand the thought of Charlie being alone... of Renee crying at my bedside. I couldn't let that happen.  
"Please..." I didn't even know that I had said it out loud. Maybe I was hoping that whoever was listening would take my plea into account if it was verbal.  
When the side of the van crashed into my head, I knew that no one had been listening to me. No one was coming to save me. This was it. The end.  
None of my life flashed in front of my eyes, only pictures of the people I had loved. As I drifted, the last face I saw was that of Edward Cullen. And I hoped that, where ever he was, he would be sorry that I was dead.

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**A/N:**

**Just so you know guys, this is my first fanfic :) so be kind!**

**Also, when you're reading this try and imagine you've just read the actual beginning of 'Twilight'. I seem to be getting a little confusion from people as this chapter goes kind of fast... but I couldn't very well copy out the beginning of the real novel, could I?**

**LOL**

**Anyway, more coming soon. While you wait check out 'Settled For Second' by me. It's got more finished than this one (so far).**

_**Reviews make writing worthwhile **_


	2. Homecoming

**A/N:**

**Thanks to all the people that have added this story as their favourite already. The response was more than I could have hoped! :) **

**Also, big shout out to Jezzeria my fanfic P.I.M.P. Lol. Go check out her fanfics, they are all awesome beyond reason! (I swear, she tries to put people to shame!)**

**Again, all reviews are more than welcome. The more I get, the faster I write!**

_NB: I own none of the rights to 'Twilight'. Stephenie Meyer is some sort of God. I hope she doesn't smite me for changing her plot!_

**Enjoy...**

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Chapter Two

Edward POV

Three months. It had been three months and I had only imagined returning, never doing a thing about it. This time away was slowly killing me... At least, I knew it would have been if I were human. I missed my family, I missed my home and most of all, as odd as this may sound, I missed the girl I didn't even know. The one who was causing me so much pain.

Isabella.

Her name was like the angels sighing.

Her face was the most beautiful portrait in my head.

I had to go back. I didn't know why. There was an unexplainable feeling in my heart that demanded I see her again. Unfortunately, I couldn't get too close. I could never get too close. She smelled so damn good! If there was anything about that girl that I could remotely dislike, it was the way her scent provoked the feral side of my nature. Enticing me to pounce.

But I couldn't do that to her. Not to one so perfect. I would have to stay at a distance... and even then I would have to gorge myself to the point of combustion to eradicate all feelings, even memories, of hunger. She could not be harmed. I had to keep her safe, at all costs.

First off, I would have to see my family. Apologize. I had been such a child, running away. It wasn't me...

Though the hardest thing I would have to do, of all the tasks I could think of, was saying goodbye to Tanya. She wouldn't like this. Me leaving. She never did. After the way I had acted, I was sure she wasn't going to give up without a fight. I'd not been fair to her. I had barely even spoken to her. Really, it was for her own good... I hadn't wanted to say something I would regret. Her advances were becoming particularly obvious, to say the least.

"Tanya," I breathed her name as I glided down the stairs. She looked as though she were leaving.

_"I'm going out, Edward. I know you can see that. Could you please make it quick." _Tanya's thoughts were scrambled. She was in a hurry. I could tell she was preoccupied as soon as her mind spoke, her voice held none of the purr of seduction that it usually did.

"What's the rush?" I was confused, Tanya never usually left the house to go to town.

_"Vampires. Nomads. In the area. Killed. Have to hurry..." _Tanya's thoughts trailed off as her wide eyes darted around the entrance way of her mansion.

"Oh, Tanya... Do you need any help? With anything at all?" I was getting distracted.

"No," she said this out loud. "Just tell me what you wanted to say, and make it quick!"

"I have to go home. I've barely spoken to Carlisle since I came to Denali." My lips refused to speak the real reason of my rash visit.

_"That's fine, Edward. Let me know when you get home."_ Tanya had reverted to using her mind. Too preoccupied was she with the Nomads that had disrupted her hunting grounds.

"Tanya, I will come back. I have to. You can't handle this on your own. Not with Irina and the girls having gone hunting for the weekend. I will be back. In two days. I promise." Tanya's face relaxed as a smile lit up her face.

"Thank you, Edward." She breathed. "Thank you." _"You are always the gentleman..." _Tanya cut off her own thoughts and blushed. I didn't have to be a mind reader to notice the sexual reference she was about to make.

"Goodbye, Tanya." I dismissed her, to distract her whirling thoughts.

I walked with her to the end of the road, nodded once, and began to run. Hopefully, the journey home would take less time as I had so much to look forward to. So many reunions to rehearse for.

I knew that my first stop would have to be Carlisle. I owed him so much more than an apology, but I hoped he could make do as it was all I could offer.

I got to the hospital at 3am. Praying that Carlisle was working the night shift, I wandered the corridors. I asked nurses and doctors alike, but no one knew where he was. Eventually, I was pointed up to the Intensive Care Unit. I should have guessed he would be there. It was his favourite place to work. The one place where the patients never took any notice if he acted differently.

Walking as slowly and as quietly as I could through the large double doors, I heard him. Talking softly. I followed the direction of his voice and headed towards the private wing.

Suddenly, there was a smell. A beautiful scent that I swore I recognised. I was torn. I couldn't decide whether to go to Carlisle or to follow my nose. Luckily, they both took me to the same place.

I tapped on the door quietly before I entered.

Carlisle looked at me sadly. I wondered why, until I caught a glimpse of who he had been talking to.

Attached to more monitors than I ever thought one person was allowed. Breathing steadily controlled by a machine.

Isabella.

If I could have cried, I would have right then.

No sight in the world could have hurt me more. It tore at my heart so badly that I wanted to scream, to kill whoever had done this to her.

"Sit down, Edward." I heard a voice say softly, but still demanding. So, I sat. Not able to think for myself. Taking orders like my own life depended on it.

"What... what..." I took a deep breath, even though I knew I didn't really need one. "What the hell happened to her, Carlisle?" I growled through clenched teeth.

"She was in a car accident. A van skidded across black ice and hit her as she was walking to school. Alice saw it, but they were too late to help her. I've been working nights ever since she was admitted. She's been in a coma for almost three months."

I growled.

"Who did this?"

"It was an accident, Edward."

"But, me leaving was supposed to save her. To make sure she didn't get hurt."

_"Ironic, isn't it?"_ Carlisle thought, automatically. His eyes suddenly grew wide. "I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have even..."

"It's alright, Carlisle. You're not wrong."

"But, I shouldn't have..." Carlisle looked down at his lap, embarrassed.

"Poor Isabella..." I sighed, dismissing Carlisle's anxious reply.

"Actually," Carlisle interrupted my brooding, looking up from his lap. "She prefers 'Bella'." I sighed once more at how perfect the adaptation of her name was.

For the first time since I entered the room, I was able to look properly at the small, frail girl that lay surrounded by machines that only caused her to look even more tiny. Even unconscious, she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

Long brown hair that curled at the ends flowed over each of her shoulders to cover her tiny but beautiful breasts. Her waist was a minute silhouette beneath the harsh hospital sheet, curving out just enough to enhance her perfect hips.

She was mine. _Mine._ My mind growled possessively.

But, she wasn't mine. I sighed audibly. She couldn't be mine. She would only ever get hurt with me, probably damaged worse than any car accident. Any human occurrence.

Suddenly, Carlisle was shaking my shoulder.

_"You have to go,"_ his thoughts were hurried. _"Meet me at home."_

"What, why?" I protested. I didn't want to leave Isabella. _Bella. _My mind corrected itself.

"It's morning," Carlisle pointed out the window to the recently risen sun. It's golden rays dimmed by the beauty that lay in front of me. "Her visitors will be coming soon. They come every day. They stay until I kick them out. You won't be welcome."

I sighed a heartfelt sigh as I tore my gaze away from Bella. It was if I was leaving a piece of me in that bed. A piece of me that I would never get back.

"I can only stay home for a while, I promised Tanya I would get back. There are a few issues that need to be sorted." Carlisle frowned at me in confusion. "Nothing serious. I just said I would get back to help. I'm not leaving Forks until I see everyone. Just, hurry." I urged Carlisle.

_"Edward, you need to get out. Now. It isn't even safe for me to talk any more. Use the window. I know it's ridiculous, but I'm saying this for your own good. We may be five stories up but no one will see you, we're on the opposite side of the hospital to the parking lot."_

I nodded quickly at Carlisle and headed for the window, even though his sudden panic baffled me. I heard a squeak in the corridor behind me, near the door, as I pulled the window open as quietly as I could. Quickly, I looked behind me. To Bella. I made her a silent vow that I would be back as I tore my gaze from her face for a final time.

As I landed outside, I heard Bella's hospital room door open. I heard Carlisle shaking three hands. There was another squeak. There were no thoughts. That was odd...

"How is she, Doctor?" It was Chief Swan, Bella's father. It was as if his mind, and the minds of the two people with him, were at a halt until they heard Carlisle's reply.

"She is better. I've been talking to her tonight, I hope you don't mind. She seemed to show signs of improvement. You just need to keep talking to her. Keep telling her that you are here. I'm sure she will snap out of this, and I don't say these words lightly."

All three sighed.

_"Thank God. Bells, I love you honey. You have to get better."_ Chief Swan was much more open in his mind than I had ever seen him be in real life.

_"You can't keep scaring us like this, Miss Swan."_ The teasingly scolding voice was followed by a squeak. The squeak of a wheelchair. Billy Black. Chief Swan's best friend.

_"Please get better, Bells! I love you! Get better!"_ The last voice, the voice of an adolescent male, broke my heart. It was the voice of Jacob Black. Right then, I knew that I could never return to Forks. Not if her heart belonged to another.


	3. Wanting The Light

**A/N:**

**Just a short chapter guys. Sorry about that, but am planning a big one for chapter four. Lots of stuff to introduce. So, for now... here's a little insight into Bella...**

**A little fluffy... but am building up to some angst. Don't worry. It's all good. Keep them lovely reviews coming **_**(they help me write so much faster!)**_

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Chapter Three

Bella POV

Darkness. That's all I could see. It was all I could seem to remember. Although there was this one thing, something that stood out. A whole lot of pain in my head. But that wasn't so bad anymore. The worst thing now was the darkness. I was fed up of it.

At the beginning it had seemed oddly comforting, soothing. But now I was bored.

I wanted light.

For a while I couldn't remember how to escape the darkness. It felt as if I had been trying for weeks. Trying to reach the light. But then it came. The voice. It was that of an angel, I was sure. His beautiful whispers guided me towards that which I wanted most. Though it was hard to decide whether I wanted him more... or the light.

Suddenly, he was gone. Even without him, I knew I couldn't give up. The angel had wanted me to reach the light. It took me longer than I'd expected without him, but suddenly I remembered. I only had to open my eyes...

The only light I saw was that of a flickering strip light overhead. Surely this couldn't be right. The angel guided me, but I was still in practical darkness. Confused, I glanced around me. I met the eyes of someone staring right at me. I think he was shocked.

"Bella?" He seemed unsure, but I was just disoriented. This wasn't my angel, he didn't have that same beautiful voice. Though he wasn't all bad. I associated him with friendly, familiar emotions. I was comfortable with him.

"Jacob." I remembered, but my voice could only whisper a hoarse recognition.

"Oh... Bella," tears began to leak from his eyes. "I sneaked back into the hospital tonight. I had this funny feeling..." he trailed off as he reached over and grasped my hand. His warmth almost made up for the lack of light. Almost.

"Why is it so dark?" I was still trying to work out where the light was. If I was in the right place.

"It's two in the morning. It will be getting light soon, I promise." Jacob smiled widely at me.

"Okay," I sighed with relief. So, there would be light. And the only person I wanted to thank for my recovery was nowhere in sight. I couldn't ask Jacob about my angel.

"Do you need anything, Bells?" His grip tightened slightly on my hand.

"Um..." I wasn't sure. "Water?"

Jacob jumped into action as soon as I had spoken and ran to the little jug of water at the back of the room. As quickly as his shaking hands could manage, he poured a cup and added some ice cubes. He second guessed himself, removed the ice, then returned to my bedside.

"Need a hand with this?" I simply nodded at Jacob's question. Carefully, he brought the glass to my lips and tipped it slightly.

"Thanks," I whispered, after I'd had my fill.

"No problem." Jacob set the water at the side of my bed on a high table. When he looked back towards me, he took hold of my hand once more. "I knew you would get better. I just knew it. Carlisle said if I talked to you, you would hear and come back."

All I could do was imitate his smile in return. I didn't want to shatter his illusions, but I hadn't heard his voice once. I would always owe Jacob for staying, but in my heart I knew that there was only one voice that mattered. The voice of an angel. I just wished he would grace me with his presence. If only one more time...


	4. Leaving & Loving

Chapter Four

_Edward POV_

My day had simply gotten worse. Leaving Bella hadn't been easy, but saying goodbye to my family had been horrific.

Each one of them had begged me to stay in different ways. Alice and Esme had played on my emotions, while Rosalie bombarded me with threats. The males, more silent, still made their own pleas. Emmett, usually good with words, could barely say a thing. Jasper, one to interpret the feelings of others, was giving off a distinct aura of anguish that we all could sense.

But Carlisle... Carlisle's reaction had been the worst of all. He had hugged me, ruffled my hair gently, and told me to do what I had to do.

So, why was I returning to Denali? Why, when all my family so desperately wanted me to stay? I wish I knew the answer... but I couldn't let myself think for fear of picturing her face. Her face, and that of the one who loved her. I wished I had been able to read her mind, to know if she returned Jacob Black's love, but I couldn't think about her anymore. It hurt too much. I simply had to face the fact that she probably did love him... She barely even knew me...

Tanya was waiting for me as I arrived. I hadn't even noticed the time pass, I was so lost in thought.

"Tanya, hello." I forced a smile. I had to shake my head slightly to rid myself of comfortable thoughts of my family. Was it really worth forsaking that to be here?

"Hello, Edward. Nice to have you back."

"Yes," I mused, still trying to determine my own right path. "Is there any news on the Nomads?" I asked, filling my mind with more pressing matters.

"They are actually coming over in a little while, Edward. A most pleasant bunch, as far as Nomads go." A skittish laugh burst from her lips. "Irina has her eye on one," she winked conspiratorially. "The hunting party ran into them as they were headed back home. So everything worked out." She smiled again. _"Even you've come back to me."_ She blushed as her thought leaked out.

"So... Tanya. Why are the Nomads coming here?" I tried to ignore her remark.

"They want to know about our lifestyle. I guess you could say, they're intrigued. Well, they thought 'vegetarian vampires' were only a joke, a myth so to speak."

"Oh, so they want to come and stare at us and treat us even more like freaks. Wonderful, Tanya. Wonderful." I couldn't hide my bitterness as I stalked past Tanya into the house.

"_Edward... please." _I heard her call after me, but I didn't care.

I sat down in the living room, which was ironic considering I was awaiting a group of people who were dead.

Not much time passed before Irina came skipping into the living room and announced that the Nomads had arrived. The voice in her mind sang with anticipation, though I tried to ignore her happiness.

There were three Nomads. I heard them before I saw them. One female and two males. One mind cool and collected, one unsure but willing to follow her partner anywhere, the last was cunning and almost all evil. A tracker.

As soon as they entered the room, I was able to match faces with minds. Though I waited for them to introduce themselves to Tanya's clan.

"Good evening, I am Laurent." The cool mind was matched with the darker skinned vampire. His long, black hair weaved into neat dreadlocks down his back.

"I'm James," the tracker spoke. "This is Victoria, my mate." He spoke as if to clarify while looking directly at me. The blond vampire acted as if I might be a threat to his relationship with the fiery redhead at his side. Although he didn't know my type was a little more human...

"Edward." I addressed them from my seat after Irina had chirped her greeting. The incessant babbling in her mind was almost too much to bear. I had to leave. "If you don't mind, there is a pressing matter I must attend to."

"Are you going to call Carlisle?" Tanya interrupted.

"Yes. I need to let him know I've arrived safely."

"So, there is another coven like yourselves?" Laurent was curious. His mind confused about our choice of lifestyle.

"Yes, we reside in Washington. I am here as a representative. We lead the same life as Tanya and her clan." I tried to stop Laurent from thinking about visiting my home. I didn't want him anywhere near Bella...

"Well, I hope we will speak again. Edward." The tracker sneered. _"We plan on staying here for a while, anyway." _His mind gave away his intentions, though he didn't even know it yet.

I nodded politely as I exited the room. I had to warn Carlisle. And figure out how to inform Tanya of the tracker's plans.

_Bella POV_

"Come on, Bells. You can do it!" Jacob urged me. His grasp on my hand almost as tight as mine was on his.

"Please... Dr. Cullen... Do I have to?" I was panting, out of breath, starting to ache.

"A few more steps, Bella. You must persevere otherwise your body will not remember how to walk. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" His no nonsense tone was clear. I was not allowed to give up.

Charlie, stood watching from the doorway, encouraged me with his eyes. I nodded once as I took a painful step forward. A smile briefly flashed across his face, betraying his pride. I wished I knew what he was thinking, but I supposed one little insight was better than nothing.

"Okay, Bella. You can stop now." As Dr. Cullen spoke, I almost let my body drop to the floor. Quicker than anything I'd ever seen, he had caught me. Even Jacob hadn't been able to move that fast, and he was the most agile guy I knew.

"Wow..." I breathed as I gazed up at Dr. Cullen's face. Fast and beautiful... though it only caused me pain as I remembered his son. "Um, thanks Dr. Cullen."

"No problem, Miss Swan." His tone had become formal. "We couldn't have you breaking your leg again." He carried me to my bed as he spoke, and I found it amusing to see Charlie standing awkwardly at the door. Wanting to say something, but not daring to argue with the Doctor that had nursed me through my coma.

"When do you think we can have Bella home, Carlisle?" Charlie had strode to my bedside.

"Well," he looked down at me. "If Bella promises to keep up with her physiotherapy... I don't see why she can't be released today."

"Really?" I didn't want to build up my hopes too early.

"Yes, Bella. Really. But, for the first few weeks, I'm going to have to insist on making some house calls. Just to keep an eye on your progress."

"That seems like an okay compromise to me, Dr. Cullen." I smiled up at him.

"Right, I'll go sign your discharge papers and we'll get you out of here within the hour." He walked to the door. "Keep her at maximum bed rest, Charlie. Only exercise when necessary." The Doctor spoke when he didn't think I could hear him.

I let him believe I was deaf as I turned my attention to Jacob. The excitement was nearly bursting from him. Not even his smile could convey how happy he was. I could see his body literally shaking.

"Are you..." I licked my dry lips. "Are you going to come home with me?"

"Of course!" Jake's eyes lit up like I had just told him he'd won the lottery.

I smiled back. Jacob had been there for me like no one else in my entire life. So kind, comforting, caring. I didn't deserve to be treated so well. But, as I saw Jacob help Charlie in the search for all my belongings, I realised that I had to make it up to him. He was my best friend, but he deserved something special for putting up with me. Though I couldn't think of anything to get for someone so important to me.

The only time Jacob left my side for the rest of the day was when I got dressed. But, when the wheelchair came to wheel me to Charlie's cruiser, Jacob held my hand. While I sat in the car, Jacob kept hold of my hand. Every time the cruiser hit a bump in the road that jarred my battered body, he clutched me tighter. He didn't let go when Charlie carried me upstairs to my bed. As I fell asleep, I still felt him there. His huge, warm hand clasped around my own.

He was my Jacob. Always there for me. I went to sleep knowing I was safe, that he would always be there. That Jacob was the only guy I loved.


	5. Reunion & Escape

**A/N:**

**Another short one... sorry! Not had enough time to give this a really long chapter. I've been lucky that these chapters can only be short, but the next one is destined to be a long one. Promise.**

_All these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer etc. You know the drill._

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Chapter Five

_Bella POV_

The next day, the first day I had been out of hospital, I was bombarded with visitors. Apparently, Charlie had told everyone that I wasn't to have any friends while in a coma... but as soon as they heard I was on bed rest at home, they all came to see me. All at the same time.

I wasn't sure how everyone fit in my room at the same time, especially with Jacob still at my side, but we made it work. Jacob and Angela ended up on my bed. Mike sat in the corner on my beanbag, clearly feeling unwanted with Jake still clutching tightly to my hand; but Jessica made him feel better when she decided to sit on his lap.

Ben, standing rather uncomfortably in the corner of my room by the window, more than made up for Tyler's gushing apologies and large bouquets of flowers. I had also been brought chocolates, new pajamas and Eric had gotten me the cutest teddy bear. I had dubbed him Ted, and Jake was starting to get jealous of his presence in my arms. Though his reaction only caused me to laugh.

I was happy. Happier than I could remember being. I felt normal, loved, accepted. And that was just from Jake. I smiled up at him as I nuzzled closer into his shoulder, causing him to grin like a fool.

Before long, Charlie had demanded that my friends give me some rest. Though he showed no signs of wanting Jake to leave... and Jake showed no intentions of leaving.

The remainder of my night was perfect. Even though Jake forced me to walk for ten minutes, under Dr. Cullen's supervision, he made up for it by cooking me dinner. I had no clue he even knew how to work an oven!

But it came as a nice surprise when he presented me with a three course meal. The soup may have been from a packet... but it didn't matter. He hadn't given me home-made ice cream... but I didn't care.

The important thing was that he cared and I realised, more and more with each passing day, that I was starting to care too. More than I ever thought I would care about Jake.

My Jake. Always. And I knew that it would never, ever change.

_Edward POV_

I may have been uncomfortable with James at first, but I soon realised that he wasn't all bad. His aversion to our lifestyle choice soon became a mere shadow in his mind, though his curiosity about my unique talent only seemed to grow.

He was unusual, not the type I would normally associate with. But, underneath his tough exterior, deep inside his a man who still had not come to terms with his own fate.

I was no doctor, but James became comfortable talking to me about some of his concerns. Other times, I would approach him. Knowing he had something on his mind, and by asking him how he was feeling I was giving him an outlet for his confusion.

Not one to be naive, I knew that James was on to me. He knew that I was trying to help him. In return, he began to give me 'tracking' lessons. In his mind, he felt like he was repaying me with the only thing he had to offer.

I was more than pleased with the turn of events as tracking had become a secret hobby of mine over the years. Not that I shared that with anyone else, I was too embarrassed to confide in Carlisle about something so... sinister. Tracking was not a vegetarian sport.

Before long, Bella's mind became a distant memory. Still present, but not as dominant in my mind. I would always wonder about her. What she was doing, who she was with, if she really loved Jacob... But I soon decided such thinking was futile.

I began to spend more and more time away from Tanya's advances. Being taught by James and watched by Victoria. She was never one to get involved, only staying near enough to check for danger and to keep an eye on her mate.

At times, their love made me jealous. Desperately so. Luckily, their affections were subtle; never being openly compassionate with one another. Though it was clear from their minds that they had a stormy and passionate relationship. It was something I was starting to long for... with someone I could never have...

Laurent and I rarely saw each other. Sometimes our paths crossed, but only if Irina happened to be in the area. They had become something of an item, though Laurent's mind was nowhere near as invested in the idea of 'love' as Irina's was. She was happy, and ignorant. Laurent seemed to be enjoying himself, so I held my tongue on such matters that didn't concern me.

It felt as though I was watching everyone else live their lives, while mine had stopped back in Forks.

Out of the blue, James asked me to join his coven. To travel with them. So, I conceded. I informed him that I would never change my lifestyle choices, or my dedication to Carlisle... but he seemed unopposed to this. His own coven had never been a strong one. This was obvious when Laurent decided to stay in Denali.

One day, I vowed I would go back to Carlisle. But, for now, I was going to see the world. One tracker hot-spot at a time.


	6. New Beginnings

**A/N:**

**A little time shift between the last chapter and this one guys. I hope that it is okay! I'm going somewhere with this... honest :P**

**Please don't get mad at me if I don't update this in the next few days as I am going away! I hope this installment will be enough to tide you over until then.**

_I own none of the rights to Twilight (SM does)... yada yada yada... you all know that anyway. I hope! If not, well, you do now :)_

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Chapter Six

_Bella POV_

It seemed like it was only yesterday that I woke up out of my coma, but instead it had been four years. Four glorious years that I treasured with all my heart.

I had graduated high school, gotten a place in Princeton, was followed a year later by Jacob who attended a community college in the same area. Life had been perfect.

And now, I was planning my wedding. My wedding! No matter how many times I told people, it still felt so brand new... so right. Just like when he proposed. It had been the greatest day of my life. Even better than graduating from Princeton with honors in English.

I remembered it all so clearly...

_It had been my final day of college. I was graduating! My whole family was there to watch me walk across the stage and accept my diploma. I was just thankful I didn't fall. Charlie clapped, Renee cried, and Jacob beamed with happiness; because, for all intents and purpose, he was a part of my family. A crucial part that had always been at my side._

_It was just after I had been allowed off the stage, Jacob had pulled me into a hug in the shade of a huge oak tree. He had whispered that he was so proud of me, that he always had been. Then, he had gotten onto one knee._

_Before he even spoke the words, I knew my answer was a yes. It was right. He was right. There was no one else for me. Ever. As soon as he had asked me to marry him, I screamed my reply and launched myself at him. Squashing his lips under my own from my enthusiasm._

_Charlie and Renee didn't act at all surprised when we told them our news. Apparently, Jacob had asked Charlie's permission. That thought made me realise how perfect everything was. We loved each other, and we were accepted in each other's families. As if the Fates had designed us for one another. There was no other man for me._

It had almost been a year since the proposal, and our wedding date was looming. Everyone around us was stressed, but I couldn't find it in me to worry. I knew that, as long as it was Jacob I was walking down the aisle to meet, nothing else could possibly matter.

My dress was picked out, the test run for the cake was happening tomorrow, the church was booked and the invites had been sent out. All of Forks, and the Rez, were invited to mine and Jake's wedding. Especially Dr. Cullen, the one who had brought us together.

As weird as it sounds, but if it wasn't for my coma then me and Jake probably wouldn't have gotten together. And if Dr. Cullen hadn't told Jake to continue talking to me, I might never have woken up.

I couldn't wait for the big day.

Nothing could go wrong.

_Edward POV_

The passing of four long years had been particularly painful. Usually, the time flew by to our kind. But not so for me. The time away had all but crucified me. I had been plagued by guilt for leaving my family, and the memories of the one I could not have.

Every time I thought of her, I threw myself into the tracking more viciously. Building up my precision and stealth. James was impressed by my stamina, my determination to succeed. But it was all for naught, if I could not have her.

But now I was homeward bound once more. I had avoided my family for far too long. I needed to be back where I belonged.

Victoria and James had been interesting companions, but not ones that I would choose to spend much more time with. They were cruel. Even deep down, they loved the torture they put their prey through. Even though I stayed true to Carlisle's vision, I couldn't escape the visions of death from James and Victoria... they were getting too much.

There it was. Home. I had been standing outside the mansion, looking up, for at least an hour. Not even feeling the need to move. If anything, the need was greatest when it told me to stay exactly where I was.

I was surprised that Alice hadn't come to find me... That no one had looked out of the window or noticed my arrival. I was out here, completely alone, magnifying the feelings burning inside me for the past four years.

Then the car came. Well, more a truck than a car. A 1950's chevvy truck to be exact. It couldn't belong to anyone in my family, I was sure it moved much too slow for any one of us. I guessed it must have been a human.

Quickly, I ducked into the bushes to the edge of the clearing. Watching the new arrival from a safe distance. Only James' evil mind had stopped me killing while I was a tracker... now I had nothing holding me back. If this was a human, I could definitely not be trusted around them.

Someone got out. A slender someone with long brown hair. Beautiful even from behind. I knew this person. Their face was all to familiar to me, even though we had barely spoken a word to each other. She didn't know me, but I knew her. All too well.

Isabella Swan. Bella. The one I had craved for all these years was being delivered right into my hands. Even now I could clearly smell her heavenly scent across the clearing.

She didn't know I was here. Couldn't know I was here.

I watched her carefully as she tapped on the front door. Her mind, as always, was a mystery to me. Oh, what I wouldn't give to hear her thoughts if only for a second. But I was deaf to her inner thoughts and feelings, which only increased her attraction.

Carlisle opened the door. Funny, I hadn't heard his thoughts once. Maybe I had been away for so long that I was no longer in tune to the minds of my family... These thoughts only made me even more unhappy about the time I had spent away.

They headed to the living room, I skulked around the side of the house so I would be able to hear their conversation. I wanted an insight into the one I longed for.

"Thank you so much for this, Dr. Cullen." She gushed. Her voice was beautiful.

This was the first time I had ever heard it. Her voice. How could I have lived so many years thinking what I listened to was music, when the real melody hid within her voice? I had been blind for so long...

"Please, call me Carlisle. We're not at the hospital anymore."

"Okay," she laughed a brilliant, tinkling laugh. "Carlisle."

"Would you like me to go and fetch Alice for you now?"

"Yes, please. That would be wonderful. I wouldn't know what to do without my organiser. If I didn't have Alice, I would have been lost!" Her voice rose delicately with excitement. Though excitement for what... I wished I knew.

"She's just upstairs. I won't be a moment..."

"Carlisle..." she interrupted, and blushed. I saw her perfect face colour from my hiding place. My heart beat just a little faster at the sight of it.

"Thank you. If it weren't for you... I wouldn't be with Jacob right now. I just want you to know that. And I'm so glad you were able to get the day off from the hospital so you could come to our wedding."

As she spoke with her angel's voice, my world crumbled around me. Married. Jacob. My memories came back thick and fast. The ones I had tried avoiding for four long years.

Her, in a coma. Me, talking to her all night long. Being forced out by my own father as her visitors arrived. The thoughts of a boy who loved her... the one she was marrying.

Before long, she was leaving. I knew I had to go into the house. I had to see my family. Carlisle had seen me after Bella had announced her wedding plans. I was too shocked to stay hidden properly. Now, I couldn't escape.

"Nice to have you home, son." Carlisle pulled me into a hug as I walked through the door. Though I was still in too much of a daze to really take in my surroundings.

"Why didn't you call?" Alice was indignant. Bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet until Carlisle allowed her to hug me. She gripped onto me tight and whispered in my ear. "I would have come outside to see you, but you needed to hear that. I'm so sorry I couldn't warn you."

I patted her on the back of the head, letting her know it was alright even if I couldn't find the words to express what I was feeling.

"Where is everyone else?" It wasn't as if I had expected a huge welcome, just more faces to be around me when I finally returned.

"Emmett and Rosalie are off on another honeymoon. Jasper has gone hunting for the weekend. And Esme has gone to..." Alice sighed. "Help Bella with her cake."

"You see," I knew Carlisle was about to explain something. His serious face had emerged. "Alice and Esme have set up a little party planning business on the side. Now that Alice has finished high school, she wanted something to keep her occupied. Esme willingly obliged. We can't seem to bring ourselves to leave Forks. We were waiting for you, after all."

Carlisle smiled and patted me on the shoulder before retreating into the living room.

"_It is nice to finally have you home. Where you belong."_ Was his parting.

I wished I could express the same sentiments, though my heart was slowly breaking. Coming home wasn't as great as I thought it was going to be. Instead, I was more empty than ever.

"_Come upstairs..."_ Alice beckoned. _"I'll show you my business. Then I'll show you your new wardrobe." _She grinned as she grabbed onto my hand and pulled me to the first floor.

I tried, with all my being, to be happy for her. To take an interest in the life she had built for herself since I had left. Though she could see my attempts were only halfhearted, she didn't say a word. God bless Alice Cullen and the way she turns ignorance into an art form. She knew, if I wanted to talk, then she was the one I would do so with. Otherwise, it was best left alone.

"_Please... don't be sad."_ I heard her think quietly. She knew I was listening, but couldn't help herself. _"If you want, you can come with us to the wedding. You can see how happy Jacob makes her. Please... don't mourn for her, Edward."_


	7. Morning

**A/N:**

**This one is going to be a bit longer for you guys, you deserve it for sticking with me! Thanks so much for the support in the form of reviews and emails. Please, keep them coming. Some of them are so sweet I don't know how you do it! I tear up! They are the best encouragement I could hope for... ever. Seriously. Thank you.**

**And I don't mean to be a tease here, there are just things I need to get out of the way before the next chapter. The next chapter is going to be a doozy. Cross my heart.**

**So, this chapter is for all of you. Every single person who has reviewed, added to their favourites, and recommended this fanfic. This chapter is dedicated to you all!**

**Oh, and just a note to jezzeria. Keep stroking things the right way otherwise you won't get what you want. Honest. And don't use up all the cold water in your house watching the New Moon trailer numerous times :P Five months may be a lifetime, but hold on it **_**will**_** be worth it! (Not specifying what you should be holding onto, though ;) )**

_Again, I do not own Twilight or anything of the like. Stephenie Meyer is the one with the genius ideas. Maybe we should make her a shrine or something... :D_

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Chapter Seven

_Bella POV_

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Someone was yelling in my face. I could feel their enthusiasm as they screamed at me and continued to bounce on my bed. Tiny feet surrounding me, making me want to throw up.

Oh, God!

This was an important day.

I jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. Then, I was sick. I didn't even care when I heard the small, annoying person from my bed follow me meekly. I couldn't get past my nerves enough to really care.

Today was my wedding day.

"Bella, honey. Are you alright?"

"Mmmm..." I groaned as I hauled myself up off the bathroom floor of my father's house.

I wasn't used to staying in the bedroom I had been a permanent resident in not so long ago. I had used it for the end of my high school years, and every time I had visited Charlie before I moved to Forks; but it was no longer home.

Since high school, I'd had college dorms and apartments. Since college, Jake and I had owned our own little house. Just on the border of Forks and the Reservation. The perfect place for us to live. Between the place where the love of my life grew up, and the place I moved to that brought me closer to him.

Last night; in a bed I was not used to, with a friend that wouldn't shut up, and the other half of me missing because he was staying with his own father; I'd had the worst sleep I could ever remember having. If anything, I probably shouldn't have invited Alice Cullen, my party planner extrodinnaire, to crash in my barely-double bed after my bachelorette party.

"Was it everything you had to drink last night?"

"Kind of." I continued to mutter as I stumbled back to my room and flopped onto my bed.

"Your mother sure knows how to party, Bella! I didn't think that anyone could keep up with my dancing, but Renee really proved me wrong!"

Alice was happily chatting away, and I was content to just let her. Especially if she didn't notice me drifting back off to sleep...

"Wake up!" She noticed. Damn.

"Okay, Al, I'm up. Honest." I sat up and grinned at her.

"So, you have a good time last night?"

"It was amazing."

And it had been. I hadn't realised how many people I actually knew. All my high school friends, my college friends, all the women from the Reservation, my mother and the Cullen women dragged me out to Port Angeles.

I was sure there were going to be legends about us after that night. Legends that would last years. Maybe even lifetimes.

"Do you remember it all?" Alice's laughter tinkled beautifully in my ear.

I was so glad, right then, for the friend I had made in my last year of high school. Everyone had told me the Cullen's didn't like outsiders, but I hadn't cared. After my accident I had just wanted to talk to everyone. To live. As corny as it sounds, but I didn't want to waste any time I had left.

It's the same reason I asked Jake on our first date. The same reason I was so happy. So, in a way, I was thankful for that coma. It changed me from meek, shy little Isabella Swan; to gutsy, brave, independent Bella.

"Do you?" Alice was jumping again.

Oh no, I wasn't sure I could handle more jumping.

"Yes! Yes, I remember most of it!" I had to laugh. "I remember the twenty bars, five broken windows, two scared gangs of bikers, numerous amounts of disgusting cocktails, most of the people I know throwing up after said cocktails, way too much dancing in those ridiculous shoes you picked out for me to wear and being chatted up by god knows how many guys thinking I wanted a one night stand before... how did they put it? Taking the plunge?"

Alice was laughing too, so hard I swear she was about to burst. I had never seen her laugh so hard in the entire time I had known her. Just goes to show what parties do for a girl.

"Yeah, that's what they said. How embarrassing! You'd better come up with a good bribe so I don't end up telling Jacob about all the trouble you caused with the male population of Port Angeles!"

She continued to laugh as she wiped the non-existent tears from her eyes. Alice always did that, thought she was crying when she laughed. But I had never actually seen her tear up once.

"You can say all you want to Jake, he trusts me." I poked out my tongue. Infantile, but appropriate. "But, I wonder what Jasper would do if I told him about the way you wrapped that one bartender around your little pixie finger..."

"No!" She squealed. "Don't do that! Jasper would never let me out of his sight again! It was hard enough trying to convince him not to do the creepy stalker 'keeping-an-eye-on-me' thing last night! You wouldn't do that to one of your best friends, would you Bella? You wouldn't take away my freedom like that, would you?"

She was guilt tripping me. And, dammit, it was working. Alice Cullen always knew how to get her own way. She'd been given her own business by her adopted parents, her own little cottage for her and Jasper on the Cullen grounds... she never went without. Except. There was one thing she couldn't seem to get...

"I wouldn't dare, Alice. Don't you worry. I wouldn't want to ruin his proposal plans would I?"

"What proposal?" She gasped.

"I don't know, I thought you were going to tell me!" I laughed. "Isn't he ever going to pop the question? You've been together for as long as I've known you!"

"Oh, Bella!" She leaned forward and took me in a tight hug. "I can't figure him out. He always says he's happy with the way things are, so I can't see a proposal on the horizon. Maybe, if he sees how well I plan your wedding, he will want one for us." Her eyes glowed with a happy intensity.

"He will. One day, he will ask you. He can't possibly live without you, everyone knows that!" I patted the back of her head as I pulled her into another embrace. "But you better not look more gorgeous than me on my big day!" I whispered into her ear.

"I taught you well." She laughed her tinkling laugh once more as she jumped off my bed. "So... shall we start to get you ready for your wedding then?"

As soon as she said the word 'wedding', the butterflies in my stomach tripled. Flying frantically, bumping into anything in their path. This time, instead of feeling sick, I felt excited. Light. Happier than I could ever remember being. I was ready.

"Let's get this show on the road."

I launched myself off the bed and onto an unsuspecting Alice. She grabbed me midair and spun me around the room. We both fell to the floor, giggling uncontrollably.

Today was going to be the best day of my life.

_EPOV_

I had watched her all night. Followed her like the pathetic wreck I was. Ever since I had seen her at the mansion, I couldn't seem to leave her alone. It was becoming a problem.

Everyone had noticed. Everyone was keeping a close eye on me. It made me want to scream. It almost, almost, made me want to leave again. But I could never quite process this wish completely. Being without my family for any more drawn out periods of time were inconceivable to me.

And I kept telling myself that was the only reason I couldn't leave. The only possible reason. If I thought of her again, it would be unbearable.

Whenever someone thought of her, all I felt was pain. Whenever I thought of her, all it brought was pain. Then, there was only one way I could find to abate such pains. I had to see her. Never letting her see me, always staying too long.

I watched her, unnoticed, for a whole week. Seeing her pick up the beautiful white dress that made her irresistible, noticing little changes in her daily as her anticipation grew, loving her like I didn't think I could ever love another person in the entire world.

But she wasn't mine. Even though I was the only one that could appreciate her, the only one who could give her what she truly needed, the only man who could love her right... it wasn't me she wanted. She didn't even know who I was.

She had found someone. Someone she went to bed with every single night, placing a delicately chaste kiss on his lips before falling asleep in his arms. Jacob Black. Her husband to be. The one she would wake up next to forever.

Always, whenever I went to see her, she was happy. Irrepressible happiness oozed out of her every pore, infected those around her into a state of intoxicated giddiness. And it was Jacob Black who made her feel this way.

Alice had been right. The boy was making her happy. He was the one who was improving her life with his presence. Not me. Never me.

I hated moments alone, as they always brought self-loathing. Moments where I wondered why it wasn't me... But I couldn't dwell on such things right now. I had to get ready. Ready for a wedding that would break my heart.


	8. Congratulations Are In Order

**A/N:**

**There is a reason this update has taken me so long, but I'm really sorry as I've had my A Levels (and they are ongoing). To all the Brits, you know what I'm talking about; to all the Americans etc., A Levels are just really important exams that determine whether or not I get into University (college). **

**No big deal, eh? **

**Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and emails for the last chapter. But I'm still not telling what I have planned except: Here Is The Wedding :D**

**Oh yeah!**

**Let me know what you think! Oh, and a quick shameless plug for my new story 'Satin and Revolvers' that I'm co-writing with jezzeria. Check that out too! (And leave both authors reviews if you can, just so we both feel appreciated and loved!)**

_I do not own Twilight or any of the characters... just to really drum it in._

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Chapter Eight

_Bella POV_

This was it.

Alice had just strapped me into my dress, tight beaded corset at the top with a fluffy white train trailing back, and we were now on the way to the only church in Forks. A driver had been hired to take us in Dr. Cullen's prized grey Mercedes, with a hat and everything, and our destination was imminent. Alice and I giggling like schoolgirls in the back as she assured me my nerves were perfectly normal.

Though nerves weren't the only thing. What I was feeling was anxiety coupled with excitement. I couldn't believe this day was finally here!

The only thing distracting me from focusing on all the craziness that surrounded me, Renee in the front seat squealing not so elegantly with Alice who was sitting next to me, was the fact that the tiara I had been forced to wear was itching the top of my head like mad. But I didn't dare move it in case I messed up the tightly rolled curls and delicately placed veil that a hairdresser had spent three and a half hours on.

Before I knew it, we were there. It felt as if it was all happening so quickly. Where had all my preparation time gone? How come I hadn't been able to breathe properly since I pulled my dress out of the closet? These were all questions I didn't have any answers to, and there damn sure wasn't any time to go around asking.

My mind was wandering, I hadn't even realised the hired chauffeur was helping me out of the car. I was on the sidewalk! Next to the church! It loomed above me menacingly, as if promising disaster.

Oh, holy crap! What if I fell? When I was walking down the aisle?

A small part of me knew that I was panicking, but it was too small to do anything about it. The rest of me was in a downwards spiral of 'what ifs'. The cycle seemed never ending. If I tripped, my dress would rip, everyone would laugh, Jacob would be embarrassed, then leave me, then people would laugh more because my groom had left me over my own damn clumsiness.

Then, there was the other cycle. What if Jacob wasn't even there? What if he realised he was making a big mistake and hadn't even turned up?

I had gotten myself well and truly worked up before noticing I was outside the large oak door. When it was opened, I would have to walk in. Down the aisle. A part of my mind was screaming at me to turn and run like hell, but finally the rational side won out.

I took a deep breath as Renee pulled open the door, noticing for the first time the beautiful lavender dress she was wearing, then followed my mother and Maid of Honor, who had insisted on a dusty blue beaded dress so her skin didn't look too pale, into the church.

I avoided all happy thoughts, all positivity, as I focused on making it to the alter without any mishaps. I couldn't afford to let my mind wander and start to notice all the people that surrounded me.

It was packed.

The church was overflowing with people. It seemed like everyone Jake and I had ever known was crammed into this tiny space to share these moments with us.

But all I could focus on was one foot in front of the other.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard music being played, my entrance being announced; but I didn't care if I was walking in time to the beat. That was the least of my worries. Though I did make a glance up at my destination.

Jacob was there. Waiting for me. Looking dashing in his black tux and black bow tie, with his slowly growing hair scraped back off his face and into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. As soon as I saw him, I breathed. Only then realising that it was the first breath I had taken since my mother had opened the door to the church.

Seeing him there was like a weight off my shoulders. How could I have ever thought he wouldn't be here? I was so stupid. Jake and me were meant to be, forever. And if, god forbid, I did fall; Jacob would laugh and run to help me up. This was really going to happen. This was my wedding day.

Just then, reaching the alter, I had the time to appreciate what a momentous day it really was. I had to take everything in so I could remember it, and brag to people for years to come how perfect it had all been. Even though we were getting it all professionally filmed, it would be nice to have the memories to back it up.

So, I looked around. I noticed that Charlie had met me by the church door and was walking patiently at my side matching my snail's pace. He hadn't been able to grab my elbow, as I was clutching them both fiercely to my sides, but he was still there.

Someone had handed me a bouquet of purple freesias, my favourite flower, and they were also being held tightly to me. Clasped in both hands, directly under my corseted breasts. I was surprised they hadn't been squished.

Then, I looked around and smiled at all the people who had come to watch me get married to my best friend and the love of my life.

I saw my friends from Forks high, the friends I had made in college, everyone from the Reservation, the whole of Forks itself, and even some of the very few friends I had back when I lived in Arizona with my mother.

As I took my place next to Jake, smiling as the warmth of his hand in mine filled me with ease, I looked to the back of the church. I noticed the Cullen family for the first time. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper all looked beyond amazing. But there was something else. Someone else. I swear I knew him from somewhere.

It was terrible, it was my wedding day; but I couldn't help staring at this guy and noticing how breathtakingly gorgeous he was. I had always thought Jake was the best looking man in the world, until now.

I couldn't tear my eyes away. His pale skin was mysterious, his tousled bronze hair radiant, his perfect face better than any male model, his lean figure sexy and so different to what I was used to. While his eyes were beyond words. They scorched me with their ferocity and threatened to drown me with their depths. Only then did I realise he was looking right back at me, his strange amber eyes locked with my own. A small smile broke onto his face.

As I looked quickly away, the blush spreading fast up my neck and onto my face, I knew who the stranger was. I had met him before and been just as entranced back then. But he had never returned.

Edward.

There was a pressure in my hand, Jake was squeezing it gently. I looked up at him, afraid he could read the betrayal my mind had just spoken, but he just smiled down at me. Oblivious. Then, I heard Jake speak.

I was so lost in Edward that I hadn't been listening to my own wedding ceremony. I had to listen! This was the most important day of my life, and it was with Jacob Black. A man I truly loved and adored. No sudden infatuation with a suddenly returned ex-Forks high pupil was ever going to change that.

We were on the vows. We had written them ourselves. It was Jacob's turn first, that was why he had squeezed me. He wanted me to hear. He knew I was distracted, probably thinking it was nerves. For that, I was thankful. Thankful that he never had to know. Stupid Edward Cullen. Why did you have to come back?

Then, Jake's husky but soft voice was floating through the air. Reciting his vows. They brought me back down to earth with a thud.

"Bella, I love you so much. More than I ever thought it possible to love anyone. I couldn't even find the words appropriate to tell you. So," he blushed, "I wrote you this:

Hold me like you'll never let me go,  
Stay like I'm the only home you know,  
Kiss me like there's no tomorrow.  
Be here for me, through tears with me.  
Make sure I'm the only one you see,  
With you is the only time I'm happy.  
Flying through time, feels like we're dancing,  
Can never seem to get enough romancing.  
You are the one that makes my heart sing.  
Without you, what would I do?  
Thankful I have someone to see life through,  
For ever and always, I love you."

I didn't know Jake could write poetry. This was a skill he had kept hidden from me, all these years. I felt the tears pool in my eyes as what he had written really hit home. Every single thing he had said was exactly how I felt. I couldn't even begin to imagine how he could have gotten it so perfect.

One of his warm hands had been removed from mine as he wiped a small, escaped tear off my cheek. I knew all Alice would be caring about was my makeup being smudged, but all I cared about was Jacob.

As he bent down and wiped away another tear, I stretched forward and placed a gentle kiss on his full lips.

"Thank you." I whispered as softly as I could manage.

Then, it was time for my vows; and I was slightly ashamed as I would never have thought of writing something so beautiful. There wasn't any poetry in me. English had been my degree at Princeton, and yet Jake had completely outdone me. So, I had to make do with what I had.

"Jacob Black, I love you." I started off simple. "I couldn't imagine living life with anyone as perfect for me as you. You are my best friend, and the love of my life, and I thank God every day that I found you. The only man I can imagine being with forever is standing right in front of me," though my mind disregarded those words as a vision of Edward popped into my head. I tried to ignore it and continued with the importance that was my wedding. "Jake, I can't imagine living life without you there. I wouldn't know what to do if you didn't feel the same. I promise to be there for you, always, and do everything I can to make you the happiest guy on the planet."

I blushed as I finished pouring my heart out, and didn't even notice the priest asking us to say 'I do'. But, I must have because, before long, he was telling Jake to kiss me. And that was it. I was married.

As Jacob's face retreated from mine, I grabbed him and kissed him once more. Harder. Showing him with my lips that I was happy. Regardless of everyone watching.

Thinking of everyone brought on another thought of Edward. He must be watching too. As soon as I thought that, the kiss ended rather abruptly. But Jacob was too happy to care. He grabbed me by the hand and led me down the aisle, while all our friends and family threw confetti over our heads.

My eyes lingered on Edward as we passed to get outside, ready for the photographer, and I realised it would have been better if he had stayed away. Now, with him here, I had doubts. Doubts about a marriage that had only been alive two minutes.

I damned him to hell as I left the church, trying to regain the happiness that was supposed to be my wedding.

_EPOV_

At the back of the church I thought I would go unnoticed. That I could simply watch the proceedings while not feeling overly involved. I couldn't stand being a major part of the day that would take the woman I was sure I loved away from me.

I saw her enter the church, a vision in white.

A floating angel, too good for this world.

I knew then that she was more than I could ever ask for, that her getting married was right and that me never coming back meant she was able to have this kind of happiness. Something I could never give her with my accursed existence.

But, for now, I could watch her. The same as everyone around me.

As I was busy admiring her dark brown curls, her perfect body a shrine in the magnificent white dress that Alice no doubt had a hand in picking out, she looked truly... happy. There was no other word for it. Her life was good, and I certainly didn't want to ruin anything. I would give up, concede defeat. Jacob Black had won her heart and I would leave them live their lives together.

Then, she looked at me. Right at me. I stopped breathing. Even though it was a mere formality, it was appropriate. Her strong gaze stopped me in my tracks and made me melt in my seat. It was the most powerful thing I had ever experienced.

And it wasn't even brief. Her staring was brazen, obvious, deep. For a while, she looked confused; but then there was a flicker of recognition. She remembered me. My heart swelled so much that a smile was forced onto my lips. Only then did she look away. Time for the vows.

Jacob began to speak, more eloquently than I ever thought possible from him. He gave off an aura, with his tanned skin and broad shoulders and utter humanity, that forced you to assume he would be less capable of such professions. But, there is was. And it was breaking my heart to hear.

When I thought it couldn't get any worse, that I knew I could have done a better job with my words than Jacob Black, Bella began to speak. Softly, yet her words were filled with burning emotion. That was the worst torture I ever had to endure, hearing the woman I loved tell another man she loved him.

Their newly wed status was announced, they kissed chastely, Bella instigated a more passionate kiss, and I knew I had to give up. She wasn't mine to chase. Eye contact meant nothing, not like the feelings that had been spoken about with vows and shown through kisses.

Though, as they were leaving the church, Bella began to stare at me once more. First there was fire, then it was backed up by something else. Hatred. I would swear, if I was able to read her mind, that she would be thinking about how much she hated me.

But what had I done to instigate such intense feelings?

I had to know what she was thinking.

Luckily, our family had been invited to the reception. Well, it would have been hard to avoid considering it was being held in our family home. Esme and Rosalie had forced me to help them with the decorations this morning. I had loathed every second, but I had to admit we had done a good job.

The whole of the downstairs looked wonderful. Adorned with white and silver balloons, white banners with silver 'Congratulations' scrolled over them in bold lettering, fairy lights lined the banister and the doors and all the trees in the back and front yards, delicate tables were set out in the back yard scattered with silver stars over the white lace tablecloths, and the abundance of alcohol ordered was chilling in a giant freezer Esme had bought especially for the occasion.

I retreated to my room while the first guests began to arrive, not wanting to be forced into such banter that centered around the events of the last four years of my life. Where had I been? And other such inane questions. I was bound to get bored of their company, why start it so early in the evening?

Dinner was being served at six, so I grudgingly left the sanctity of my room at quarter to. Skirting through the crowds, fake smile plastered to my face, I nodded greetings and said polite 'hello's to anyone who bothered engaging me. But I quickly made my way out into the backyard. It was getting too much, too fast. I needed space so I could remember how to act around people. It had been so long.

I didn't have time to get to grips with my situation. As soon as I walked outside, I was face to face with the bride. Bella. My mind went blank as I just stared at her in all her beauty, trying desperately to cling onto the fact that she was married.

"Hello, Edward isn't it?"

Her polite voice was even more delightful up close. I couldn't believe she was actually speaking to me, that she even knew my name...

"Isn't it?" She questioned again, I realised I hadn't answered her the first time. I racked my brains for a sentence, even a word that I could say so she wouldn't hate me.

"Yes." I choked out. Now I remembered how to speak, I felt more of it forming. "And you're Bella. Congratulations are in order."

"I suppose they are," she sighed. It was so slight that anyone else would not have been able to pick up on it. But I wasn't anyone else. For once, that thought was a happy one.

"What's wrong?"

I stepped forward, to put a hand on her shoulder, but contained myself in time. I felt a desperate need to touch her, but I couldn't. She was married! My mind kept screaming, repeating the unfortunate truth.

"Oh, nothing." She lied. I could tell she was lying, there was something about her eyes that gave her away.

"You can say, you know. I won't tell." I smiled genuinely for the first time in what felt like years.

"I can't believe you picked up on it."

"What?"

"That I was upset. No one else has. Not even Jake..." she trailed off, her voice becoming impossibly quieter.

"I can just tell. And, if you want, I'm here. To, you know, talk to."

"Thank you." Her smile didn't reach her eyes. "But I don't think that would be appropriate."

"And why not?"

"There's just something about you, Edward." I felt tingles as she said my name, I almost didn't hear what she said next. "There has been since the first day I met you."

"You remember that?"

"Biology, I had just moved to Forks. How could I forget? It was the only time I saw you before you disappeared." She laughed.

"What's so funny?" I was getting annoyed, not being able to hear her thoughts. It was like being deaf for the first time.

"I was mad at you. For being such a bastard." I cringed, but she carried on regardless. "You were so mean to me on that first day, and I so badly wanted to know why. But then you weren't there. And you never came back. No one in your family ever talked about you, it was as if you had never existed."

I didn't know what to say. There weren't any words I could speak to make this better. I had made Bella miserable, and her misery cut me like a knife. I couldn't take back my actions, or ever really explain them. But I owed her something.

"It was better for you that I wasn't there."

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes were ablaze with anger, though she was turning me on so much that it was hard to take her seriously. How could I be aroused at such an awful moment?

"I mean that it was better for you that we weren't friends, that you never knew me."

"That is such a stupid thing to say!" She yelled. "How can you be so selfish? You don't know me, so how can you say what's best for me?"

"I don't know..." I murmured, saddened that I was causing her pain on such an important day.

"And now you're back, after all this time. Why now, Edward? Why today?"

When I didn't answer, she stuck her tiny hands onto her petite hips and all but growled. It was as if she was going to attack me. But, the words that came next hurt more that any physical damage that could have ever been inflicted.

"I wish you had stayed away, Edward Cullen. You have no idea how much I hate you for spoiling my wedding."

With that, she was gone. Storming back into the house and not even trying to regain composure. I was left speechless as the first guests made their way into the garden for the evening meal.

Esme was headed towards me, I couldn't even attempt to move. A marble hand was placed onto my shoulder. I heard her ask if I was alright. But how could I answer that honestly?

So, I shook my head. "I have to go." I didn't even bother thinking up an excuse.

I headed towards the forest, that acted as a sanctuary second only to my bedroom. The lush greenness enveloped me into a welcoming embrace, clearing my thoughts. Though, the memories became more vivid. Almost too much to bear.

She. Hated. Me.

How could I go on living? There was nothing else to live for. I had tried and failed miserably at another life, and I had ruined any chance I had with the woman I loved. There was nothing else for me. As this was realised, I headed towards the treaty line.

I wouldn't be around long enough to witness the repercussions of this act, I only hoped it didn't ruin my family for they were the only good thing I had left.

I stepped towards the boundary, and was about to cross, when I heard a voice. One so familiar it brought back images of deeds so violent it was as if I was reliving them.

"Edward, you're looking very dashing this evening."

"James," I snarled, "this isn't a good time." I refused to even turn around and face him.

"Oh, darling, don't leave so soon." He teased. I heard Victoria's encouraging laughter from his side.

"What do you want? I thought we had parted ways for the time being?" I turned and found myself face to face with the pair.

"What can we say, Edward. We missed you. And, after all that moaning about Forks and your family, we decided to come check everything out here ourselves. See if it was all we imagined and more." His teasing continued, as was always James' way.

"You can't seriously want to meet my family."

"Oh, but we do Edward. And we plan on visiting for a long, long time."


	9. Love Lost

**A/N:**

**Just BPOV for you here; but don't worry as it just means you get a whole lot more of Edward next time. Woo! :P **

**Setting things up in this one, so try and stick with me! **

**Everyone go and nominate at the 'Indie Awards'. There is only one day left to get a shout-out out for your favourite fanfics. Even if it isn't mine, spread the love! Go show someone under appreciated how much you care!**

_Stephenie Meyer owns all that is Twilight._

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chapter Nine

_Bella POV_

I didn't see Edward Cullen for the rest of the night, and I was trying to avoid him at all costs. I didn't trust myself around him. He made me so damn angry!

Though, his absence only angered me further. It was as if I had scared him off. A part of me found this amusing, another part found this as annoying as hell. What kind of man gets nervous around a bride? Albeit an angry bride, but still...

The dinner had been lovely, the private chef Alice had hired had been worth every single penny. All the guests surrounding me had had a wonderful time, and I mostly had too. My friends and family had all given me their best wishes, presents, money and support for the future. Jake was being amazing, as usual.

But there was something wrong with the picture.

Something... missing.

Soon, it was time to go home. Jacob and I weren't supposed to set off for our honeymoon until tomorrow. We were off to Italy, then on a tour of Europe. The first week of luxury and the rest of adventure. It was what we had always wanted, this voyage and exploration. We had talked about it for years. I was more excited for the honeymoon than I was for the wedding.

I knew Jake felt the same, but for completely different reasons.

He carried me over the threshold of our perfect little house and up the stairs. His large foot pushed the bedroom door open, and he placed me gently onto the bed.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Black." He grinned down at me as I couldn't contain my giggles.

"Why thank you, Mr. Black."

"That doesn't work silly!" Jake yelled as he jumped into the air and landed neatly next to me. "I've always been Mr. Black, there's nothing special about me."

"Well, your wife disagrees with you."

"Now that was weird. My wife. Jeez Bells, I can't believe we're actually married!" He gently stroked my forehead before placing a small, gentle kiss on my softening curls.

I laced my arms behind his neck and placed my lips to his retreating mouth. Jake pressed me back to the bed, holding me in place while he deepened the kiss. As his hands trailed lightly down my white dress, the phone rang.

"Godamnit!" He cursed as he pulled himself off the bed and to the phone extension on the landing.

"Hurry back!" I called and laughed at his continued cursing.

I didn't hear what was said on the phone, on either end, but Jacob's muffled voice was not a happy one. The call didn't last long, and soon Jake was back at my side. He looked down at me and scratched the back of his head.

"Bells..."

"Whats wrong?" I knew instantly from the look in his eyes that it hadn't been a pleasant phone conversation.

"I have to go," he sighed, quietly.

"What?" I had heard him, but I was trying my best to contain my anger.

"I have to go."

"Take a second to rethink that answer, Jacob Black." I growled as I stood up off our bed.

"There is an emergency, Billy was on the phone. He didn't say much but apparently they need me there as soon as possible."

"God, Jake! Is everything alright?" My anger suddenly dissipated as I hoped that my new father-in-law wasn't injured.

"I'm not sure."

The creases lining his face confirmed his fears. I knew he was imagining the worst. I linked my arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug. When I looked back up, the worry was still there.

"I'm sure it's nothing." I used both hands to smooth at his face. "Just go, I'll wait up for you."

"Okay," he sighed.

"Do you want me to come with you or something?" I asked, suddenly realising he might want some sort of comfort when confronted with whatever was so bad Billy had to call him on our wedding night.

"No!" Jake yelled, it took me aback. "Sorry Bells, Billy was explicit. Saying I should come alone. He told me to not even tell you."

"Well, I'm glad you did." I wanted to ease the pressure, so tried to remain calm for him. "But I will stay up for you. Call me when you know everything is fine."

"I will." He sighed and scratched the back of his head once more.

I leaned forwards and kissed him. Softly. Only once. Letting my lips linger. Showing him I cared. But, I knew he needed the words too. I took him in a strong embrace.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I whispered into his ear.

"I love you too." But his eyes showed no emotions as he spoke. I knew it was just his nerves getting the better of him. This time, I let it slide.

"I'll see you soon."

I watched him leave the bedroom, heard him trudge down the stairs and close the front door behind him. His prized Rabbit, that he'd built back when he was seventeen, growled into life as he headed out to the Reservation. I curled up on my bed in the wedding dress with my worn copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' as I prepared for a long wait.

--------------------------

I had never expected I would been waiting this long. With no phone call. I was starting to get worried. It was now ten the next morning and I hadn't even received a single phone call from my Jake, I didn't even know if he was alright.

My nerves were increasing with each passing second.

And we were going to miss our damn flight!

But that wasn't really important. We could reschedule everything. All I really wanted was my husband home, safe. His absence was surreal, we had barely been apart for years.

I changed out of my wedding dress, to pass some of the time, and into a pair of black jeans and a pink t-shirt. They were supposed to be my traveling clothes. Though I doubted I would be going far from my home in what I was currently wearing.

It was half past ten. I ran to the extension on the landing and tried to call Jake's mobile for what felt like the hundredth time. No answer. Again. What the hell was going on? It was getting ridiculous now. My worry tinged with anger.

I couldn't sit around twiddling my thumbs any longer. I had to do something. Anything.

I ran downstairs, grabbed my keys, locked the front door, and headed to my old truck. It had never failed me, in all the years I'd had it. And, as it rumbled to life, I thanked the gods and the 1950's mechanics that had a hand in building my baby.

There was only one place I could think to start my quest. Billy's house. If anyone would know where Jacob had gone, it would be his father. He had made that phone call after all.

Fifteen minutes later I was pulling up on the gravel driveway of Jake's childhood home. It was where we'd had our first kiss, where we had talked for hours without realising how much time had passed.

Running to the front door, I noticed the curtains twitching. Someone knew I was coming. They couldn't hide now. I smacked my fist against the hard wood of the front door repeatedly. I would not be ignored.

"Open up, Billy!" I yelled as I saw the curtains twitch once more.

I stood, arms folded across my chest, waiting for Billy to let me in. I knew he was going to. I could hear his wheelchair squeaking as he made his way slowly towards me.

"What's wrong, Bella?" His face was the picture of innocence as he opened the door and was faced with my wrathful scowl.

"Don't you dare! Billy Black! You cannot lie to me! My husband, your son, has been missing since our wedding night! After your phone call! Either you explain to me or I will call my father and report him as missing!"

"Quiet now, Bella. Everything is fine."

"Then where the hell is my husband?"

"There was a small incident. Just something he and a few of the boys need to sort out. He will be back soon. I promise to get him to call you as soon as he does. But, for now, I think it is best that you go home. In case Jacob comes looking for you."

"But, he's okay?" I just had to be sure.

"He is fine, perfect in fact. There is nothing to worry about. Now go on home."

I made my way to my truck in a daze, being waved off all the way by Billy. I couldn't turn back. He would think I was hysterical. I had to just go home and be patient.

As I was driving to my house, I realised I couldn't go back. I couldn't just sit there and wait. I verred away from my turning and headed towards Forks. But, before I came to the town, I took a sharp left. A turning that I usually always missed.

My truck chugged up the winding road, and I soon saw the house in the distance. I killed the engine as I quickly dived out of the cab and ran to the front door. I desperately needed a friendly face. Who better than my Maid of Honor?

I slammed my fist hard a few times on the front door and waited. More patient than I had been at Billy's house.

The door was pulled open, and I flung myself forwards. I buried my face into a shoulder and stifled a sob. As I took in a deep breath, I noticed that Alice smelled weird. A very good, delicious weird; but not her usually perfume soaked self.

I looked up into the startled face of Edward Cullen and broke down into tears. He picked me up off the floor of the Cullen porch and carried me into the living room, letting my tears soak his shirt.


	10. Queen of Hearts

**A/N:**

**I just want to say a quick apology for the people that have been waiting such a long time for this next installment. I know there weren't that many to start with and I just hope I haven't lost any of you!**

**Hopefully my time away (for work) will have helped my writing. I'm sure you will let me know what you think!**

**To add, I have to say a quick thanks to jezzeria. For being my constant muse. I only hope I can be there for you more, to make up for all the help you have given me. PUFFYHEART! Another muse for this chapter being my new found love of the band Theory of a Deadman, namely the song 'All or Nothing'. Take a listen :)**

_All of the characters below belong to Stephenie Meyer's imagination._

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Chapter 10.

_Edward POV_

I was painfully aware that I didn't say one word to Bella as I cradled her gently in my arms on the antique leather sofa in the smaller living area. Even our short walk there, with her in my arms, had been lacking any speech.

How could I ever find the words?

I daren't break the silence, for fear of ruining the moment and her realising that it was a mistake. That she didn't want me to hold her in this way. I was selfish, silent and so much more in love with her than I had ever before noticed.

Understanding how she was doing this to me would require analysis, which I wasn't prepared to undertake for more of my own selfish reasons. This contact, this comfort, this closeness; I seemed to need it more than she did.

I didn't know how much time had passed before her tears abated but, finally, they did. Even though no length of time with her would be enough. Never enough, with a woman that would never be mine...

If I could have sighed, I would have.

I felt my silent heart break a little as she pulled her head away from my shoulder and stared into my eyes. Their deep brown depths threatening to drown me in their beauty. I couldn't stand her knowing stare, as if she could read my mind like a book.

The corner of my mouth pulled itself into an involuntary smile as I tried to read Bella's mind for the umpteenth time since her arrival. Yet again, I received nothing. I had no clue as to what was bothering her, and it killed me. I needed to know. Not just to sate my own curiosity, but so I could help her. To see her suffer was making my heart break all the more.

"I'm sorry," she whispered so quietly that I was sure it was my imagination.

I furrowed my brow as I looked down at her tear stained face. Delicately, she ran a hand through her beautifully disheveled hair and removed herself from my lap. This time, when she repeated her apology, I knew I wasn't imagining it.

"For what?" I had to reply quickly. If I thought too much about the words I wanted to say to her, they would come out all wrong.

"For just barging into your house like this. I mean, I feel so stupid. I thought it might have been Alice, it's usually her opening the door to me. As if she knows I need to see her. I didn't think that, for once, someone else might have come. I'm really, really sorry." Her speech tumbled from her mouth in a messy arrangement, though her meaning was clear. She hadn't wanted me.

"I see." I whispered as I pulled myself up from the sofa and brushed down the front of my now creased shirt. "I'll go and get Alice for you now."

"Wait!" Her command was produced as a squeak while her arm shot outwards and begged me to stop. Bella was so hard for me to read, she was starting to confuse and annoy me. Though my instant reaction to her voice was to halt, to help her with whatever she wanted. A bone-deep need inside me insisted that I do whatever it took to make up for the pain I had previously caused her.

"Yes?" I whispered. The single word almost too shy to leave my mouth, knowing that what she wanted would never be what I wanted to hear.

"Thank you, Edward." The sound of my name on her lips was heaven, but her words kept on coming. Demanding my attention. "And I'm sorry for yesterday. I was rude, there was no need for me to act like such a child."

"It's okay." And it really was. Her apology instantly eased my previous worry, it made me wonder if there was anything more I could hope for... until reason stepped in once more and forced me to push my desire to the back of my mind.

I turned from her and was headed out of the room, though it pained me more with every step knowing that I would probably never see her again. I was about to start up the large staircase when I heard the small sound of protest. Unsure, I put my foot on the first step; until the sound emerged once more.

Looking back showed me that Bella was crying once more. Eyes wide, tears streaming, face crumpled, staring at my retreating back. The only emotion I could read from her face was fear. My insides clenched at the sight of her so broken. I didn't want her to think I was simply leaving her.

"I'm just..." I swallowed, my throat suddenly seeming so dry. "Going to get Alice."

"Please..." I heard a faint whisper from behind me. Thanking God for once that I wasn't human, I turned around and saw Bella coming towards me. "Don't leave."

It was all the incentive I needed. I was back at her side in a second. My heart overpowered my head as I took her in my arms and lay her on my lap on the sofa for the second time.

Neither us spoke. There were no need for words. She needed me, and I was going to provide the comfort. How she saw me wasn't clear, but I was too selfish to care. Her needs coincided with my own. I knew my mind would make me suffer later, when she was no longer here, but I was planning on making the most of the opportunity I had been given.

This was how it was supposed to be.

How things could have been if I had never left...

--------------------------

"_Edward!" _

I bolted upright out of my seat. My vacant mind suddenly filled with the screaming voice. If I were human, I would have said I'd fallen asleep. But that was impossible. I didn't know exactly what had happened; one moment I was smothered by thoughts of Bella and surrounded by her scent, the next there was nothing.

"_What the hell do you think you are doing?!"_ The voice continued to yell.

Blinking, my eyes darted around the room until they finally found it. The source of the noise. My beautifully deluded sister. Rosalie.

"Rose, what seems to be the problem?" I whispered, so low that Bella would not stir from her slumber. It seemed that I was not the only comfortable one. The angel in my arms had been so content sleep had claimed her.

"_Get off her, right this instant!"_

"Don't you dare..." I hissed.

"_Who are you to be making threats? I'm not the one blind to the damage I'm creating!" _The voice in her mind continued to scream, bouncing around my mind and shattering all happiness I once had.

I eased Bella's sleeping form onto the cushion beneath me as I stood. Glaring at Rosalie, I strode past her and quickly through the house until I was in the back yard. The late afternoon sun was low in the sky, red beams glinting off my skin in rainbows and reflecting prisms onto the kitchen window behind me.

Closing my eyes, I let the sun momentarily warm my skin; until I felt Rosalie's presence in the yard. Her angry growls reverberated inside my head.

"Now, Rosalie, are you going to explain yourself?"

"Myself?" She screeched. "I think you're the one who owes some explanations."

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrow in disbelief. "And why exactly is that?"

"She is married, Edward. She isn't yours. Also, maybe the most important thing, didn't you leave your school and your family," she drawled the word for emphasis, "because you didn't trust yourself enough to be around her?"

I gritted my teeth as I strode away from Rosalie, too ashamed to admit that she was right. Oblivious to my anger, Rosalie's gloating became louder in my mind as she followed me. I couldn't take it much longer.

"Don't you want me to be happy?" I screamed at the forest, afraid to turn around for fear of striking my sister.

"But, Edward," she sighed. "You know you are only doing yourself more damage by letting yourself get close."

"Damnit."

"What now?" Rosalie appeared in front of me, arms folded.

"When did you get so wise, Rose? Not that you aren't still a pain." I had to add.

"I've always been smart, Edward. You've just always been ignorant to everything but yourself."

"I guess there's a little truth in that..."

"_You mean, a lot of truth!" _The voice in her mind was laughing, more amused than I'd heard her in years.

"I have to get back."

"I know. But, just keep your distance. For all our sakes. She is a family friend, Edward. You may run into each other from time to time, but you can't let that get to you. Be strong."

Her last words echoed around me, but Rosalie was already gone. Imparting her wisdom, then disappearing. Typical. I sighed as I turned around and headed back into the house.

I steeled myself by taking a deep breath before I entered the smaller living area. Building up my resolve. Though everything was shot to hell when I saw that Bella was awake.

"Where did you go?" Her voice held a tiny whimper that caused my heart to swell. She had missed me.

"I'm sorry about that, I just went to see if Alice had finally gotten back home..."

"Don't worry." She interrupted. "I think I've found all the comfort I need."

With her words, she patted the seat next to her. I had to hold ever so tightly onto my composure to ensure that I didn't rush to her side too quickly. As soon as I was next to her, she rested her head unashamedly on my shoulder. Butterflies swirled in my stomach as she emitted a small sigh.

"Is there anything you wanted to talk about?"

"Actually, there is." Bella looked up at me and smiled, eyes sparkling with thanks. "I'm really worried about my Jake..."

I was deaf to the rest of her words as my world shattered around me. She was here about her husband, worried about her husband. Reality dawned as Rosalie's words came back with a vengeance. Bella was not mine. I had to keep my distance.

But how was I to manage such a thing when even the mention of another man made me want to keep her locked up as my own for eternity?

I wanted Jacob Black's head on a platter... But my mind told me I was foolish.

I had more important things to concern myself with.

My first job was to pick up the pieces of my broken existence and put them back together; though I wasn't sure how to rearrange them so that Bella was no longer the central piece of the puzzle, the Queen of my game of chess, the one who had stolen my heart forever...


End file.
